Saturday, June 19, 2010

Are romances based on accepting people for who they are the beginning of a failed relationship?

Of course, love that is not there initially may grow to be in time. Subtle ways of mixing and matching indifferences can open the doors of the heart and soul. But as in most cases, one or both parties tire of settling for less and eventually such connections end in divorce and bitter break-ups.



Subsequently, life is too short to make the same old time-proven mistakes. Therefore, are we better off taking a little longer to find what we truly want in marriage and relationships, instead of faking harmony in hopes of making the relationship in front of us work閳ユ敃imply because it閳ユ獨 available and convenient?



If you don't like smoking, then marrying a smoker in hopes that they will quit the habit one day, is like planting a tree between you and your spouse. And, if you don't care for overweight partners in a relationship, why marry someone with an eating disorder--only to end up fighting with them about diets and weight problems?



The ingredients of culture are also very problematic in relationships. For example: On average Black women have round, fat butts as a natural part of Black genetics. While White women have flat, skinny butts. Because of the cultural difference Black men inadvertently find flat, skinny butts to be a real romantic turnoff not by choice but by tradition. Which seems to offend some White women for not being accepted for who they are.



However, many interracial relationships succeed because of mixing and matching of indifferences such as the skin color, often very shapely legs, and the long silky hair feature of White women. Though few Black men will openly admit it, braids, hair pieces, weaves, and the short, frizzy hair feature of Black women is a turnoff for Black men.



All together, is there some sort of mechanism by which one is able to be respectable for the duration and accept people for who they are when the physical attraction doesn't automatically exist?



Are romances based on accepting people for who they are the beginning of a failed relationship?

no, I think they are based on things you have in common.



Are romances based on accepting people for who they are the beginning of a failed relationship?

duh.



Are romances based on accepting people for who they are the beginning of a failed relationship?

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz



Less rambling and more to the point would be advisable.



Are romances based on accepting people for who they are the beginning of a failed relationship?

All people are better off taking a little longer to find out what they want in a marriage and a relationship. No one should fake harmony or caring. No one should ever marry someone, hoping to change the characteristics they don't like "someday," like smoking, overeating, drinking too much. No one should marry anyone with whom they are not compatible, though it happens all the time.



I don't understand the concept of marrying someone when you aren't physically attracted to them. Is this what you're thinking of doing, or have done? If so, what circumstances led you to do this?



Are romances based on accepting people for who they are the beginning of a failed relationship?

We come to love not by finding a perfect person



But by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.



Sam Keen



Are romances based on accepting people for who they are the beginning of a failed relationship?

I don't think you can do anything about lack of physical attraction.



But accepting some thing that is unchangeable about your partner like a love of golf or something will enhance your relationship. Of course don't accept things that are intolerable to you as that will lead to resentment on your part.



Are romances based on accepting people for who they are the beginning of a failed relationship?

I think relationships differ from person to person. For example some ppl are born doormats so they give up a lot for their partners. In some cases like arranged marriages you don't have to option of quiting, you either live miserabally or make the best of it. Sometimes like they say, love i s blind and you over look the faults until they hit you in the face so to speak. But in any partnership, you do have to make some compramise, even if it is about sharing a blanket.



Are romances based on accepting people for who they are the beginning of a failed relationship?

Indifference means not caring one way or the other...it is improper usage of the word. You cannot mix and match indifferences. It is like saying you are particularizing aloofness.



You answered your own question in the first paragraph. You are joking, right?



Are romances based on accepting people for who they are the beginning of a failed relationship?

For ur sake i hope this is part of an assignment! If not then stop thinking too much. U will NEVER find a hard n fast rule for the attractions between the sexes, regardless of race, gender or culture. There are always exceptions to the rule n ur just gonna drive urself around the bend trying to figure it all out. Try just mellowing a little. Is there any specific reason u wanna know this stuff? have u been dumped for someone from a different culture, or different appearance? If that's the case then u will never find a stand out warning that it is gonna happen again. The beauty and horror of us as human beings is that we may conform to a group or ideal but u go find us at 2am n it doesn't mean s**t who or what we say we r ; we just want what we want cuz its what makes us happy or content or safe..... or whatever other infinitesimal reason is significant to us at that point in time. Just try not to analyse things too much cuz ur gonna make urself nuts tryin. Good luck.



Are romances based on accepting people for who they are the beginning of a failed relationship?

What the hell is your point?



Are romances based on accepting people for who they are the beginning of a failed relationship?

You seem to be having a nice conversation with yourself



However, the answer to your first question is absolutely not and in fact the opposite is true. If one accepts the the other for who they are and not what they want to change that person into, or what they want them to be, this the basis of a good relationship.



The answer to the second question is yes. The third question isn't really a question. The fourth question is nonsensical gibberish.



Are romances based on accepting people for who they are the beginning of a failed relationship?

You ran off course with this one . . .are you asking about the mechanics of a relationship? Or was this a subtle attempt to make it a point to address the aesthetics of black women vs. white women - and how black men prefer the latter? I will address your question in two parts.



As far as relationships go there is no perfect way to make one work. They are based on trial and error, and we just have to be smart enough to know when something doesn't work. There is no "perfect match" (contrary to some popular match-making websites). You just find that one particular person who is compatible with all aspects of your personality, and you with theirs. Notice I said compatible but that does not mean they have to necessarily like them. Human error in relationships is that we tend to be drawn to the fairytale . . . and those are for children. The end of the story may say "happily ever after" but do you notice the story usually ends after the couple rides away into the sunset. The reality is when they wake up ten years later they don't even know who the person is laying next to them. So, the answer to your question is . . . there is no answer. Life and relationships are not well-oiled machines, they take some repair and patching up to make them work. All we can do is make sure we keep our heads on straight through it all.



Secondly, the natural hair of women of African descent is thick, soft and strong. No, it may not flow down their backs in cascades of tendrils but, who is to say that is the only definition of what is beautiful hair. The braids, hair pieces and weaves you mentioned have a historical value that (these dissatisfied black men you mentioned) obviously don't know about. These techniques of enhancing the hair were developed by African tribes and held a spiritual importance. That is the one thing women of African descent can say still holds true from the past and hasn't become watered down in this European culture. That is what makes it so beautiful. The full backsides, curvy frames and lips that European women pay the big bucks for . . . well a higher power is to thank for that . . . the wrinkle-free pallets of earthen skin at the age of 60 - that is not the work of Oil of Olay.



BUT I digress . . .



Black men are welcome to desire whom they please (as is anyone). The point is interracial or interspecies . . . no relationship is free of pitfalls. We are all playing poker . . .



Are romances based on accepting people for who they are the beginning of a failed relationship?

My love is based on first impressions.



After that I get "future shock."



This one girl I picked based on her work habits and hair. She's conservative, ultra christian and I said to myself.



She's got a bed sheet with a hole in it and that's how we'll make babies, until then we'll sleep in different rooms.



I didn't care. I liked her.



Her politics are radical, she's a neo-Libertarian.



I didn't care.



She wants babies and that's always made me afraid.



No more.



She has narrow views on everything from eating to religion to policts.



I have to learn to live with that.



Her family is mixed racially.



Who cares.



You either LIKE the person or you don't.



That don't mean you like their religion, polictics, choice of food.



It means you LIKE the PERSON.



Her voice soothes me. It makes me feel good.



Her smile is hypnotic.



I calm down when I'm around her.



She's into her family and they are 10 handfulls and he's two hanfulls.



You either agree to accept this or you don't!



You either like THEM, not what they are or what they do, but THEM or you don't.



It's that simple.

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